Batman Hates Halloween V
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! Another year has arrived, and Bruce Wayne faces the most ridiculous turn of events on this Halloween: his arch rival taking his place as the caped crusader for the night. What will become of this insanity? Rated T. Happy Halloween!
1. Chapter 1

**Story**: Batman Hates Halloween V  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata  
**Written**: October 27th, 2012  
**Genre**: Humor  
**Rating**: T (Language, Violence, Comic Mischief)  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own DC or its eternally tortured caped crusader.

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**Part 1 of 2**

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The fifth year of Halloween and all of its glory was upon Bruce Wayne as he drove back toward the Bat Cave after busting some crime within the alleys of Gotham City. Knowing what has happened year after year has made him weary, yet cautious as to expect the unexpected.

Once back at his HQ, Bruce opts to not relax immediately, but to instead do an intensive search of the vicinity to ensure that the Joker or any of his other cronies weren't sneaking up on him from the most audacious of places. Once the scan was complete, Bruce let out a sigh of relief as it seemed no trace of Gotham's greatest masterminds were in sight.

"**Well that's surprising. Finally after all these years, I'll be able to have a peaceful night on this wretched holiday…"** Bruce said, displaying a very rare smile of satisfaction.

"**Would you like a drink, Bat-Boy?"** said a voice next to him.

"**Oh sure thanks Alf-"** Bruce began, until he nearly jumps out of his seat in horror as The Joker stood right next to him in plain sight and not his butler, holding a tray of beverages in his hands. **"JOKER!"** Bruce yells in complete anger.

"**Were you expecting Lex Luthor?"** The Joker teases, tossing aside the tray of drinks and leaning toward his arch nemesis.

"**Why in godsakes do you continue to do this to me?"** Bruce growls at him.

**"Oh you know, it's my favorite time of the year! You know I would never spend it without my greatest pal in the world!"** The Joker stated, giving him a cheesy smile.

"**I've had enough of this…I am going to spend this year's Halloween alone, do you hear me?!"** Bruce protested, grabbing a batarang from his utility belt and tossing it at The Joker. To his dismay, he evades the attack, causing the batarang to boomerang around the Bat Cave, coming full-circle back to Bruce and knocking him clear off his feet, sending him flying into one of the deep crevasses surrounding the cave. The Joker runs toward the edge of the huge ditch in time to hear Bruce hit the bottom with a loud thud.

"**Whoops…"** The Joker said in a rather monotone, yet amused fashion.

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**A Few Hours Later…**

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A while after the accident, Bruce was lying in his bedroom in a body cast covering him from head to toe. Standing by his bed-side was his butler Alfred and, none other than, The Joker.

"**My oh my, this is certainly troubling. Master Bruce will be out of commission for the next few days while he recovers. Who will become Gotham's crusader of the night in his absence?"** Alfred questions.

The Joker was already jumping up and down like an overly medicated lunatic at the idea of wanting to take up the job. **"I'll do it, I'll do it!"** he said ecstatically.

"**Mphffmrphnafphm!"** Bruce argued vehemently underneath his bandages, not amused at the idea of The Joker, the most crock-pot people in existence, becoming the substitute hero of Gotham for the time being.

**"Bruce is correct, we have no choice but to have you take up the mantle,"** Alfred response, completely misunderstanding Bruce implications on not having him be the replacement.

"**Oh goodie! This will be fun! I've always wanted to dress up as Bat-Brain here and use his toys!"** The Joker claps in approval. **"I'll get ready right away!"** he adds, before skipping off like a little schoolgirl.

"…**Phuch…"** Bruce mutters in total defeat.

This was going to be the most backwards and random Halloween anyone has ever witnessed. Period.

**End of Part 1**

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What will happen to Batman this year as The Joker takes his title for the night? Stay tuned for the hilarious conclusion! Please review as well!

**Missed the previous four installments? In the meantime check out Batman Hates Halloween I,II, III, IV in our story archive!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2 of 2**

Halloween had came and gone, and Bruce's injuries had started to finally heal. It was a bright sunny morning, a rarity for Gotham City. Bruce was lying in his bed when Alfred entered his bedroom. With his face-bandages finally off, he was able to speak.

"**Alfred, tell me, what has Joker done to Gotham since he took my place? Probably ran my image into the ground I bet…"** Bruce mutters.

"**Actually, quite the opposite, Master Bruce. According the news reports, it appears crime is down 75% all across Gotham,"** Alfred explains.

"…**Say what?!"** Bruce spoke in shock, sitting up in his bed immediately. **"How is that possible? This is The Joker we're talking about!"**

"**I wouldn't know…I just been reading the news reports of Batman saving hundreds of lives the past week, eliminating crime at every turn. The numbers don't lie, sir,"** Alfred responds.

"**That does it, I'm getting back to protecting Gotham immediately! I am not letting that clown outshine me like this!"** Bruce stated as he started to get out of bed.

**WHACK!**

Bruce's actions were immediately halted as Alfred clocks him in the head with a frying pan he had concealed behind his back, knocking him out cold.

"**Sorry, Master Bruce, but I can't let you do that. Hate to admit it, but The Joker is a better savior of the city than you ever had been. Actions speak the truth, you know,"** Alfred spoke, before turning to leave the room.

Batman would be left to be held against his will in bed for quite a while with The Joker running around the city mixing his crazy style of fooling around using Batman's equipment.

**The End!**

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**This concludes the 'Batman Hates Halloween' Series!**

**Please review and hope you enjoyed this series!**


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